(don’t) stand by your man

During an interview with CNN, New York City mayoral candidate Anthony Weiner said his sexting scandal has hurt his wife’s career. Of course my first reaction to hearing that was “DUH!!! YA THINK???!!!”

His wife (and mother of his child), Huma Abedin, was a top aide for ex-Secretary of State Hillary Clinton when the first sexting scandal emerged, the one that forced Weiner to resign from Congress.

Weiner swore he’d ended the salacious behavior, but sure enough, when he started running for mayor of New York City, allegations came out that he was not only still doing it, but he had kept doing it after he resigned from Congress.

I’ve read a lot of feminist rhetoric recently about how important it is for Abedin to stick by him, and that her doing so in no way diminished the cause of feminism or her place in that long, honored chain of activism.

At this point, though, I have to call bullshit on that. I’m sorry, I just can’t stand it any longer.

I disagree that staying with a lying bastard who sends photos of his dick to women he’s not married to is a positive aspect of feminist behavior. A real feminist would have kicked his lying ass to the curb the second time he got caught sending pictures of his dick to other women. Why the second? Because everybody deserves a chance to correct inappropriate behavior.

Caught once? “Don’t do it again.”

Caught twice? “My lawyer will be in touch.”

Staying married to this piece of shit is a slap in the face to every woman that fought for women’s rights. I’m sure she loves the guy, that much is obvious since she didn’t leave him the first time he got caught. I get it. Sometimes our heart is more powerful than our brain. In this case, though, it’s time Abedin listened to her brain and told her heart to shut up.

Standing by your spouse, partner or significant other when they screw up is a time-honored tradition, but the inference is that they have learned from their mistake and don’t do it again. Weiner has clearly fallen short of that expectation and needs to be free to sign up on eHarmony in the very near future.

I’m not alone in that I judge people by the decisions they make. Should Abedin ever show up on the national political scene, I’d vote against her in a heartbeat if she was still married to Anthony Weiner because staying with him clearly shows that she doesn’t make good decisions.

2 thoughts on “(don’t) stand by your man

  1. I’m not sure how any women could think staying with a guy after this was ‘ok’. I’m sure if she left him she would do BETTER in her career. Shows women everywhere that she is a strong individual that does not stand for being taken for granted.

  2. Well, she really can’t win. My take on it is that we don’t know what their marriage is – or should be – because we’re not in it. It’s not really anyone’s business but theirs, but yet I’ve seen her interviewed very personally. And that’s kind of shitty that people feel like that’s okay. And then, on top of that, strangers get to judge her feminism based on what she does publicly with her marriage — I mean, can we talk about Weiner’s feminism for a minute? But oh wait, no one ever does that — it’s just women who get judged that way. This is more of the double-whammy that women get – I mean, total strangers are telling her what to do with her marriage, then judging her feminism based on the decisions that she’s made. (There may, after all, be totally pragmatic reasons to stay married — like familial, financial, legal situation, etc. — even if the romance is gone. And that’s not really anyone’s business but theirs. Heck, maybe it’s an open marriage.) Life is hard enough without constantly having to be the archetype for feminist living – particularly for something as personal as your choice of husband. What is really feminist is that she had the choice of staying with him or leaving him in the first place — not a right that women have enjoyed for all that long.

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